A student of Suzuki Roshi (Zen Buddhist, 1904-1971) was struggling with questions about the meaning if any - he wondered - of life and death. He told Suzuki Roshi of his "existential, philosophical quest." He shared how enthralling and exhilarating the search was. He asked if he was on the right track, to which Suzuki Roshi answered, "There is no end to that kind of search."
*David Chadwick, Ed. Zen is Right Here.
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Some introductory points -
Asking questions and searching are good spiritual practices until they drop. One does not force this dropping.
The search is futile, for there is no answer to be found. The search is not futile, for it leads to non-searching. When one is ripe, the search falls away.
Suzuki Roshi points out how the quest retains momentum, question leading to question, answer to answer.
The questions arising from spirit are not answered in thought. The answers are non-verbal. Spiritual truth is inarticulate.
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That spiritual wisdom is met with in silence does not mean encountering such insight means a negation of contradiction. Truth is a harmony, yet the complexities in thought cannot be resolved in the mind.
The Christian Contemplative and monk, Thomas Merton (1915-1968), speaks to the contradiction in us. He writes, in Thoughts in Solitude, "Fundamentally, as Max Picard [in World of Silence] points out, it probably comes to this: living in a silence which so reconciles the contradictions within us that, although they remain within us, they cease to be a problem... ." Hence, unity in thought is not negating the paradoxes Truth presents to the mind but an acceptance of them. Paradox, therefore, is not seen as contradiction but insight thought cannot contain, for thought is dualistic. When Truth illuminates the mind, it divides into apparent opposites without losing its harmony. To enjoy the harmony, we return to the Truth, not the ways the mind compartmentalizes it.
Theistically, one could say the return to God is the return to harmony; that is, insight is not merely for us to have insight. From whence comes the insight? Truth inspires us to return to our Source, regardless of how different wisdom paths may image That differently. Here, again, is an apparent contradiction - we portray the Source in apparently contradictory ways. The contradictions arise from the mind, and the mind has been trained in a social context to interpret in particular, dualistic, and polarizing ways. Every depiction of the Absolute is dreamlike, even the denial of the Absolute.
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We do not think ourselves into the answers arising from the Heart; instead, we live into them, or, possibly more accurately, they live themselves into us. Hence, in the Way, we learn to let go of the questions - not questions arising from the practicalities of everyday life, but those subtle, intangible questions. A practical question is, "What do I want for lunch?" A subtle one is, "Why am I here on Earth?" or "What is God?" or "What is love?" We learn to discern where the question comes from and, so, the nature of it. We cease looking for answers in the tangible when the question points to the intangible? Consequently, we stop looking for satisfactory verbal responses to questions that connote nonverbal Truth.
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A principle regarding spiritual searching applies: As we progress on the Way, we sense less need for an answer and, so, more contentment to discern by simple openness. The answer, then, may not be an answer we can articulate, and the answer may not be an answer at all, yet we are content.
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Ripeness for the questions to drop arises from two rippings. First, we grow in subtle, nonverbal wisdom; hence, the concrete, verbal diminishes accordingly. Second, the search brings with it exhaustion. We get tired of searching and trying to find unfindable answers. This fatigue helps us let go, allowing subtle wisdom to appear.
As I have written before regarding the Absolute - "Only God shows us God." In a nontheistic sense, this applies, for wisdom manifests itself. We do not get this subtle wisdom. We do not learn it. A teacher does not pass it on to us. We make room for it. It gives, for it gives itself.
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Indirection is key, also, in receiving subtle truth. A Monastic, Michael Casey (b. 1942), in Strangers in the City, writes of how reading aids in making space for insights to arise. He observes, "Reading ... often creates a helpful distance between us and the source of our anxieties, not allowing our troubles to keep invading consciousness, but indirectly permitting to acquire a better perspective on things." And continuing, "It lets our minds rest while a response is being generated in the unconscious."
Casey's words apply to receiving spiritual insight. Subtle wisdom arises spontaneously, more likely when we do not think about our question. We can introduce a query and leave it, and this relaxing of seeking allows space for the inner working for the gestation of a response. Wisdom is closely aligned with not-thinking, as Buddhists teach.
The revelation of insight, then, is like a woman pregnant. For the fetus to grow and be born a child, the mother does not have to keep checking on what is happening in her womb. She does not have to understand how the fetus becomes a child. The workings in the womb happen when the mother is and is not attentive to the fetus being there. In time, a child is born. Truth arises from within us, but how, we do not know. And, when the insight comes, we do not know all the inner workings that had to take place for it to appear.
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The Wisdom-Giver and wisdom are one, like the sunlight and the Sun are one. The truth of truths is one with Truth. The truth of truths is free of explanation, for the truth of truths is truths stripped down to the one pure nudity.
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Master Lingi (Chinese Zen Teacher, d. 866) taught spiritual knowledge is the formless "bright clarity" right before us (Thich Nhat Hanh. Zen Battles). Subtle truth is radiant and transparent - meaning self-luminous and free of dilution or distortion. This is why when seeing Truth, you may be startled by how obvious it is.
The Eastern story of the little fish seeking water reminds us of how we miss the evident Truth. The fish is seeking water while living in the ocean. He swims from teacher to teacher, not one aiding him in finding water. Finally, he meets a wise teacher and says, "I'm seeking water. Can you help me find it?" "Yes," says the teacher, "you're living in it. Look all around you." The little fish is astounded at how he had sought what was already so near.
Why seek light on a radiant, sunny afternoon? If we go looking for subtle wisdom, we move away from it. Yet, we must look until looking drops. When the search-for ends, grasping ceases, like hands relaxing and ready to receive what we cannot get but only be given. The word grace applies to this being given. Yet, we do not need to understand grace - we cannot anyway. We acknowledge grace is working to give what is not gotten and cannot be gotten.
*Use of photography is allowed accompanied by credit given to Brian K. Wilcox, and title and place of photograph.
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse.
